Lean meat???

Yesterday went fairly well. It wasn't a spectacular day or anything but it was just ok. Chris cooked supper last night for us. He cooked spaghetti and tator tots. The tator tots turned to mush because he turned the oil down on low when it started frying. :0) I really appreciate him doing that though because then I didn't have to do it.

My cousins funeral and visitation is tomorrow morning. I don't know if I can get off work or not because I am leaving early today to take Zach to the doctor. If I don't go at least I went to their house on Saturday and paid my respects. They can't have an open casket though....it will be closed.

Me and Han walked yesterday. It is getting much easier to walk now and not be so out of breath. I feel better. I actually like walking!! Can you believe that ???

Well not much to talk about today....I'm not feeling too great!! Have a good day!! SLP

Sad, Weird, Lots of Emotions....

This weekend has been full of sad, weird, psycho moments. Friday afternoon I decided that Zach and I were going to eat China Star for supper and we had to wait 15 minutes on it so I decided I was going to run in the grocery store and get what we needed so that I wouldn't have to go on Saturday since my hunny was coming home. (Mind you I HATE going to the grocery store or anywhere by myself.) I was going to be brave. Big mistake!! I should have just driven off when I saw one of Chris' ex-girlfriends walking in with her mom. But I didn't because she never talks to me, she avoids me. So I am cool with that. So we go in and Zach is acting all sorts of retarded screaming because he dropped his money (a penny) on the floor. So I gave him a quarter and he starts shouting that he has an even bigger amount of money. I am by this time wanting to crawl under a rock and hide. Well of course, while I am trying to get some french fries she is across the cooler from me and says, "Hey Samantha, how are you?" And I'm like fine just leave me alone and let me get my stupid french fries and move on!! But no!! That doesn't happen, her mom then starts talking to me and she tells me that Zach looks like a mixture of both me and Chris and that he has Chris' hair. Ok I am walking away and she starts yelling that she got her myspace back....she had deleted it a few months ago, and tells me to look her up and add her a friend!! UGH!! I ended up getting tator tots instead of fries because I was nervous and just wanted to get away!! Well I get to the check out and there they are again checking out right beside me. They got finished before me though so they walked out and I'm like Yes I am safe I can breathe now. Well, no such luck!! Walking out I see that they are still putting their groceries in their car so I am texting on my phone so that I don't have to look at them....if I avoid eye contact maybe, just maybe, they won't talk to me. My luck just got even better when they start asking me about my job and how it's going. (Keep in mind I have known or known about this girl for 12 years and we have never said more than hey to each other) But it doesn't end there because she comes over to my car and starts talking to me about CHRIS!! And how she can't believe that he is on a tugboat instead of driving a truck or welding. (why oh why did I not just get into my car, run her over and leave, I do not know) I stood there listening to her tell me that Chris used to tell her that he didn't think that she would ever be married to a truck driver and she said well maybe she could but she didn't know. and that she knew he was good at everything that he does!! By now I am wanting to scream, but no it just gets worse when she somehow starts telling me that I should never get WLS. She had it done about 4 years ago and she hasn't done so great with it. She went on to tell me that she was losing her teeth and she is dehydrated. Ok first off, if she is taking her vitamins and eating and drinking water like she is supposed to then she wouldn't be having the problems that she is having. She told me that she can't take vitamins because all she can take are the gummie children's kind. If that is the kind that you can tolerate you better take em!! And she told me that she hadn't eaten for 4 days!! Anyone is going to have problems if they don't eat right!! And then she was going to give me her phone number but couldn't find a pen but I sure didn't volunteer mine!! Anyway, I told her that I had been thinking about having the surgery...I wasn't going to get into the fact that I am doing everything possible to have it done. It's none of her business!!! Finally, an hour later we get to leave. I was wanting to cry, scream, whatever by this time because she doesn't know me and she is standing there telling me not to have something done because she is/was an idiot for not following doctors orders and because she was talking to me about my husband like I wasn't married to him. Well dumby that I am added her to my myspace friends.....and she has since sent me 4 messages!! Anyway, enough about that.....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On Saturday, Mom called me and told me that my cousin Steven Simpson had died. I couldn't control myself. I just busted out crying because I had just seen him on Wednesday when me and Hannah were walking. He was smiling and asking me how mom and dad were doing and didn't look like he was upset about anything....but you know people can hide their emotions and you never know what someone else is thinking. He was a really nice guy. We went to his mom's house Saturday about lunch time. There was a lot of people there. She wasn't doing good. :0( I can only imagine having my son die. He was having trouble with his wife and he got a gun (not sure what kind) and took the clip out of it and didn't realize that it had a bullet still in the chamber. :0( So sad.

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Hannah and Richard got a trampoline on Friday night and Saturday we put it together and jumped on it for a little while. Yesterday we went to church and then ate at Pizza Hut and then went to their house again and stayed on it from 1:30 - 4:30!! My stomach is so sore from laughing and jumping. It was so funny. Hannah took some pics so I will have to download them from her camera and post them. I look so stupid in them. haha!!

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On another note....dieting this weekend went pretty good except for the Snicker's bar that I ate on Saturday. Chris brought it home for me and said that it was my valentine's/anniversary candy. :0)

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I called the doctors office because I got a letter from the insurance company saying that they do not cover obesity related doctors visits. So everytime I go to the doctor for the supervised weightloss, I am going to have to pay the full amount!! GREAT!!

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Well have a great day!!

TGIF!!

Well nothing exciting happened yesterday....unless you count my blood sugar going too low. I knew it was going to happen yesterday because all I ate was a 6 inch sub and some baked lays chips from Subway. About 3 I started to feel a little funny so I chewed a piece of chewing gum (not sugar free). Well that didn't help. By about 3:40pm I was shaking so bad I could barely hold my mouse to do anything on the computer that I needed to do. Thankfully the receptionist had some peppermints so I got a couple from her and started chewing. A few minutes later I was fine. It is kinda scary.

So after all that and only having 500 calories all day I decided (since Zach got a ribbon for find the most C's on his paper) that we would go to McDonald's. haha! I did not do good at all last night. :0( We won't get into what I ate but just know that I am ashamed, so ashamed. :0) But it was GOOOD!!

This brings to mind a question.....With this problem am I going to be ok after surgery? It is a little scary and probably a question that I need to ask my doctor, right?

Anyhoo, I am ok today. I am so glad it's Friday and my hunnypoo is coming home tomorrow!!!

Today is Thursday......right?

Me and Han walked yesterday. We are starting to walk faster than we used to so we are going to have to get a longer route to take. It is not taking us as long to walk it like it used to.

I am so excited that I have lost weight!! It just makes me feel so much better. I am proud of myself. Makes me think I can actually do this. I am still worried about Chris getting laid off and then where will I be? I won't be able to have the surgery. I will be devistated. He told me not to worry but I can't help it. I have come too far to be shot down now. You know? :0(

Anyway, Have a good Thursday!!

Couldn't wait!!!

Ok so I couldn't wait to post this....I got a new set of digital scales today....and......I have lost 6 lbs!!!!

Keep your poo to yourself.....

Yesterday was not a very good day. I was supposed to go walk with Hannah when I got off but I didn't because I had to leave work at 3:00 p.m. because when I went to the bathroom to tinkle I sat in someone's....."leftovers". UGH! I usually look at the seat before I sit down so that this doesn't happen but I had to go really bad because of all the water I have been drinking and didn't think so look. Well when I got up to do the "check to see if I have left anything" I saw poo on the back of the toilet seat. I thought I was imagining things so I went and got my friend here and asked her to go into the bathroom with me to inspect. Well sure enought that is what it was. I felt so nasty!!!

I mean come on...I am the youngest woman here and I clean up after myself. Ya know? Grown women should not leave "leftovers" on the toilet seat for other people to clean up!!!

Needless to say I didn't walk because I don't like to walk alone and I had taken a shower when I got home. I know I should have danced around the house or something but I just felt like being lazy because I NEVER get home that early. Maybe I could walk longer tonight when I get off work. ?? Who knows.

I am wondering if I should be keeping up with my daily intake of food. I have been but I am wondering if I should share it with anyone. I don't always eat what I am supposed to as far as veggies and fruits go (does anyone?) but I am keeping my calorie intake below 1500 a day. So I am doing good there. I keep a list of when I exercise. Any thoughts?

I am also still debating whether or not I need to take Zach to the doctor next week for the ADHD appointment. I think I am just scared that it is going to be positive that he has it and I don't want that for him. I want him to be (dare I say) normal.

I am still wondering about my job....whether I will have one next month or not....because now we are out of propane...not just gas and diesel. Go figure. But they keep on taking everyone's money when it comes to the propane. Better to have money in the bank than to turn them away by telling them we have none. HA!

Oh if you want to be my friend on myspace my page is .......

http://www.myspace.com/zachsmommy2

I have given up on not blogging everyday...it's like a drug...or food....I just have to put my feelings out there. LOL

Later!!

blinkies....

I found this and it reminded me of what I have been in the past....



And of course this is the way I feel......




of course most days I feel like I am one of these...LOL



Am I normal? I don't think so....




Says it all...





Absolutely!!




hehe!!







i used to think so....


I love to do this!!



we were trying to do this until I decided that I needed to lose weight with WLS!!



yes i am!!








yet, growing up so fast...

















and without him my life would be nothing!!!












yet, people don't see that...