I hate my weight......:'-(

I have decided that I am going to have surgery done to reduce my weight. Or at least I am in the process of finding out what all I need to do to have it done. I am going next Tuesday for a consultation. I am tired of being overweight. I am scared that my health is going to start going downhill. I am afraid that if I don't have something done about it now then I will have the same health problems that my mom does. And I think she feels the same way. I am fine with myself most of the time. Last night we took Han to the hospital and I couldn't even sit in the chairs there because my butt was too big!! I just hate that.

I know that Chris is probably going to get mad at me for it. But I think this is my only option. I want to feel better about myself. I have tried to diet and things just don't work out for me. The fertility doctor that I went to last year told me that the only way I would probably lose weight is to have drastic surgery done because after you get past a certain point it is really hard to get rid of. So I need all the prayers that I can get right now. I am not telling a lot of people that I know....one because all I want to do is cry about it and two because I don't want people looking at me weird or trying to talk me out of it. I know that people love me for me and they don't care what I look like. And I am not doing this to get skinny because Lord knows I will never be....but I don't want to end up like the people I see on tv that can't get out of bed because their legs won't hold their weight.

So more later.....Just pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!