it's going to be ok.......

Went to my other appointment on Tuesday night....things went good. They weighed me and got my height....I am only 5'7"!! I thought I was at least 5'11"!! haha Anyway we sat through a presentation of all that will go on, they said that they would contact the insurance company to see what my policy says exactly and then call me next week to let me know. I am really determined to have this seen through. Even if it does mean that I have to wait till July or August.

Today is day 9 without a coke!!

Can you believe that? I mean I was drinking at least 3 if not 4 a day!! Now I drink tea instead....it may not be good for me either but I figure it better for me than the cokes.

I still need all the prayers I can get with everything though. Later!!

Sucks to be me....

Well I went to the doctor today. My PCP (Primary Care Physician). He said that I have to be on a diet for 6 months. He won't go back to 2006 to get my weight and do it that way. GRRRRR!!! I was a little upset (Understandably). I want this done this month. Not have to wait until July or August!! But I am doing ok with it now. What's 6 months when I have been dealing with my weight since I was in the 3rd grade!! I remember in 4th grade we had to be weighed for something at school and the teacher weighed me and it said 150 lbs. He said do you weigh at home and I lied and told him yes that it was usually 20 lbs less than that. LIAR!!!! Anyway I know that 130 lbs for a 10 year old isn't good either.

Anyway....I will be going to the doctor for the next 6 months being weighed. Me and Han are starting to walk this afternoon. I am determined that this will work!!! :)

I hate not telling people what is going on because I know they wonder why I cry so much. But I just don't want anyone to try to change my mind. Does that make sense?

Well More later!!!!

:-( sad...

Well it's official....

Chris is mad.

He was ok with me wanting to have the surgery yesterday and then today he is furious. He told me that he couldn't promise that he wouldn't be mad and I told him that he was just going to have to be mad because I am determined to have this done. I have prayed about it and I feel calmer about it. If it is God's will it will be done.

To blessed to be stressed!!!!

That should be my new moto. hehe

I guess Chris is upset because he thinks that I am going to leave him for someone else if I loose weight. I don't know. He should know by now that I love him and only him and would not leave him just because I loose weight. Just like I will not leave the friends that I have now for other friends when I loose weight. (:-) I will not mention the name of the person that said this.....hmmmm) haha I love the friends that I have now and if you aren't my friend now then I don't need you when I am not a fatty!! haha

Well more later..........

I hate my weight......:'-(

I have decided that I am going to have surgery done to reduce my weight. Or at least I am in the process of finding out what all I need to do to have it done. I am going next Tuesday for a consultation. I am tired of being overweight. I am scared that my health is going to start going downhill. I am afraid that if I don't have something done about it now then I will have the same health problems that my mom does. And I think she feels the same way. I am fine with myself most of the time. Last night we took Han to the hospital and I couldn't even sit in the chairs there because my butt was too big!! I just hate that.

I know that Chris is probably going to get mad at me for it. But I think this is my only option. I want to feel better about myself. I have tried to diet and things just don't work out for me. The fertility doctor that I went to last year told me that the only way I would probably lose weight is to have drastic surgery done because after you get past a certain point it is really hard to get rid of. So I need all the prayers that I can get right now. I am not telling a lot of people that I know....one because all I want to do is cry about it and two because I don't want people looking at me weird or trying to talk me out of it. I know that people love me for me and they don't care what I look like. And I am not doing this to get skinny because Lord knows I will never be....but I don't want to end up like the people I see on tv that can't get out of bed because their legs won't hold their weight.

So more later.....Just pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008

Well I hope that everyone had a great new year and didn't drink too much!! ~~

We didn't drink anything on New Years night. I was trying to keep myself from falling asleep!! haha!

The gameboy that Zach got for Christmas is killing me....he wants me to play it because I can get farther than him. He just lays on my shoulder and watches me play. But if he sees that he wants to play he starts screaming!!

That is what I did Monday night to stay awake. Play the gameboy. We did fireworks for a little while. Zach loved them!! He wanted to do more when we ran out.

Although I didn't have Chris with me on New years eve I still called him and talked to him at 12!! He had just gotten up for his shift. So it worked out good!!

Mardi Gras starts soon....we are going this weekend to a fireworks show and a parade.

Well my mind is blank now. More later.......

Christmas is over....

Well Christmas is over.....it's sad but I'm glad it is because I am flat broke!!! It's awful!! I have no money!!

Chris is leaving again on Sunday. I really don't want him to but I know if he doesn't we will have no money....

Here are a few pics that we took at Christmas......

Christmas is coming!!

Well just to let everyone know...my birthday is next Friday!! :) Not that it is going to be a special day. Chris comes home on the 19th!! I am so happy. We haven't seen him since the 27th of November!! I miss him and I know that Zach does because he says that we have to leave the front light on every night for daddy to see when he gets home. So funny....and sweet. I have finally gotten my Christmas shopping done! I have to figure out what I am going to get the ladies at the office though. I was gonna give them cute little penguin keychains but I found out yesterday that Zach's Christmas party is with both K4 classes not just his so I will look crazy not having everyone a gift. Or maybe not. Who knows? I had to buy some grapes and some cookies for him to take to school. They are making fruit baskets for someone at school. Do you know how much grapes cost????? OMG!!!

Well if I don't post anymore before Christmas.......

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