TGIF!!!

I am so glad that it is Friday. Although I wanted to do something this weekend!! UGH!! But we are just going to sit home for now. :0)

The diet (changing of eating habits) is going good. I am so ready to be to July!! Only 2 more months though.....time seems to be going pretty fast. I am excited and scared at the same time. :0)

Well have a good weekend!! SLP

Why me?

Why is it that every time I don't do something right it gets brought to my attention but when I do all things right no one says anything about it?

That's what happened yesterday. I know that my boss (the president of the company) hates me. Why? I couldn't tell you. But anytime someone mentions my name to him he starts acting crazy!! Maybe it's because of my weight? Maybe it's something else that I don't know about?

Someone had a problem with their account because I applied payments wrong. I know stupid right? Anyway, the boss calls someone else to straighten it out and then my other boss (that works in the same office as me) saw that she was doing my job. So then she comes in here telling me that the other lady is doing my job because I didn't do it right to begin with and that my boss asked her to do it because I don't do my job. That every time he asks me to do something or about something I haven't done my job right!! And I'm like whatever!! Of course, I cry because I am so pissed. It just doesn't seem right to tell someone that they don't do their job just because of one thing. There's more to the story but I won't bore you with it.

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Chris came home yesterday!! :0) He will be home until next Saturday!! He got to go to one of Zach's games for the first time yesterday too. Zach was so happy. You could tell that he was trying to show out for his daddy!! :0)

Well have a good day....or week.....until I write again!! SLP

:0) My baby!! :0)

My baby is coming home tomorrow!! Yeah!! I am so ready to see him. For some reason he hasn't called me as much this time as usual. :0) Zach and I are going to get him a cake and we have some stuff for him for his birthday, which was last week. So just wanted to say that I am glad that he is coming home tomorrow!!

:0) SLP

Good Weekend!! :0)

As you can probably tell from the pics we went to the beach this weekend!! We had a wonderful time. The waves were a little rough but all in all it was fun. Zach was wanting to be a big boy and do it on his own but we couldn't let him because the waves were knocking us down much less him. We weren't going to spend the night and then about 10 last night we decided that we didn't want to drive home so we found a place to stay. Then we tried to find a place to eat because we were doing so many other things that we lost track of time and we didn't eat supper at a reasonable hour so no one was open. Finally we decided to stop at a Cici's Pizza and see if they were open. They were but they said that they were closing but we could eat what was on the buffet or they could cook us a new pizza. So that is what we did.

Today we went to The Wharf and I got some new crocs.They look like these but they are brown with a pink middle. They are cute!! :0)

Then we went to watch a movie. I kinda wanted to see Prom Night but I also wanted to see Baby Mama so that is what we saw. It was funny. But the highlights of the movie were seen in the trailer to the film.

All in all it was a fabulous weekend!! Well TTYL!! :0)

:)

This is a pic of me, Zach and Hannah @ Momo's 90th birthday party last Sunday!! :0)

Thank goodness it's almost the weekend!! YAAY!! I am so bored with my job. It is not even funny!! I have so little to do that I have to go impossibly slow to make it last. I can't afford to get off early all the time.

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I think that I am having issues...I'm not sure particularly what they are about but all I want to do is cry. And I am mean to everyone. :0( I am upset because I am still having weight issues...I am upset because I am ready for this 6 month diet to be over with so that I can have surgery and get on with losing weight....I am upset that my husband has to stay at a job that he is not particularly fond of because I need the insurance....I am upset because I am lonely.....I just have lots of issues and I don't know how to voice them to anyone to make it better.

I have to go sometime in the next month or so to a psychologist for my psych eval that my insurance and surgeon require before surgery to make sure that I know all the risks and complications of the surgery and everything that I have to do afterwards. I am ready!!

I kind of freaked out yesterday on the insurance lady at the surgeons office because I had a moment that I thought I was doing something wrong and that my doctor was not doing everything that he is supposed to to help me get approved. She told me not to worry that she was going to request the notes again in a few weeks to make sure that he is writing down what he is supposed to. I also have to have a nutrition appointment. I also need to go to a support group meeting because if all goes well it will only be 3 more months before I get a date for surgery.

I have stopped writing down what I eat everyday although I think I should start again. I just have a lot on my mind with everything and I don't have time or patience.

I feel like I am a burden to everyone because they have their own lives and I am alone (except for Zach of course) but there is only so much conversation that you can have with a 5 year old....even if he is a smart one.

I am scared that my health is going to go down and I am going to die before I have this surgery done. I just don't know anymore. What if my insurance does deny me? what will I do then? I can't afford a loan to get it done....i don't want to ask anyone for money....I just feel helpless. And I know that in 2 months and 2 weeks I will look back on this and probably laugh at myself for being such a retard about it but right now....I want to pull my hair out....I wish I could speed up time!! (at least until July and then it can go back to the way it was)

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I have some new things to add to my list of thing I want to achieve!!

~~Be able to cross my legs.
~~Not have arthritis in my knees because of my weight.
~~Be approved for surgery!! (This should be #1!!)

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Well have a good weekend!! :0)

Is that me?

I cannot believe that I have let myself get like this!!! I had no idea until I saw these pictures that I looked like this. I guess in my mind I look better. Who knows? I just want to cry. :'(