Lean meat???

Yesterday went fairly well. It wasn't a spectacular day or anything but it was just ok. Chris cooked supper last night for us. He cooked spaghetti and tator tots. The tator tots turned to mush because he turned the oil down on low when it started frying. :0) I really appreciate him doing that though because then I didn't have to do it.

My cousins funeral and visitation is tomorrow morning. I don't know if I can get off work or not because I am leaving early today to take Zach to the doctor. If I don't go at least I went to their house on Saturday and paid my respects. They can't have an open casket though....it will be closed.

Me and Han walked yesterday. It is getting much easier to walk now and not be so out of breath. I feel better. I actually like walking!! Can you believe that ???

Well not much to talk about today....I'm not feeling too great!! Have a good day!! SLP

Sad, Weird, Lots of Emotions....

This weekend has been full of sad, weird, psycho moments. Friday afternoon I decided that Zach and I were going to eat China Star for supper and we had to wait 15 minutes on it so I decided I was going to run in the grocery store and get what we needed so that I wouldn't have to go on Saturday since my hunny was coming home. (Mind you I HATE going to the grocery store or anywhere by myself.) I was going to be brave. Big mistake!! I should have just driven off when I saw one of Chris' ex-girlfriends walking in with her mom. But I didn't because she never talks to me, she avoids me. So I am cool with that. So we go in and Zach is acting all sorts of retarded screaming because he dropped his money (a penny) on the floor. So I gave him a quarter and he starts shouting that he has an even bigger amount of money. I am by this time wanting to crawl under a rock and hide. Well of course, while I am trying to get some french fries she is across the cooler from me and says, "Hey Samantha, how are you?" And I'm like fine just leave me alone and let me get my stupid french fries and move on!! But no!! That doesn't happen, her mom then starts talking to me and she tells me that Zach looks like a mixture of both me and Chris and that he has Chris' hair. Ok I am walking away and she starts yelling that she got her myspace back....she had deleted it a few months ago, and tells me to look her up and add her a friend!! UGH!! I ended up getting tator tots instead of fries because I was nervous and just wanted to get away!! Well I get to the check out and there they are again checking out right beside me. They got finished before me though so they walked out and I'm like Yes I am safe I can breathe now. Well, no such luck!! Walking out I see that they are still putting their groceries in their car so I am texting on my phone so that I don't have to look at them....if I avoid eye contact maybe, just maybe, they won't talk to me. My luck just got even better when they start asking me about my job and how it's going. (Keep in mind I have known or known about this girl for 12 years and we have never said more than hey to each other) But it doesn't end there because she comes over to my car and starts talking to me about CHRIS!! And how she can't believe that he is on a tugboat instead of driving a truck or welding. (why oh why did I not just get into my car, run her over and leave, I do not know) I stood there listening to her tell me that Chris used to tell her that he didn't think that she would ever be married to a truck driver and she said well maybe she could but she didn't know. and that she knew he was good at everything that he does!! By now I am wanting to scream, but no it just gets worse when she somehow starts telling me that I should never get WLS. She had it done about 4 years ago and she hasn't done so great with it. She went on to tell me that she was losing her teeth and she is dehydrated. Ok first off, if she is taking her vitamins and eating and drinking water like she is supposed to then she wouldn't be having the problems that she is having. She told me that she can't take vitamins because all she can take are the gummie children's kind. If that is the kind that you can tolerate you better take em!! And she told me that she hadn't eaten for 4 days!! Anyone is going to have problems if they don't eat right!! And then she was going to give me her phone number but couldn't find a pen but I sure didn't volunteer mine!! Anyway, I told her that I had been thinking about having the surgery...I wasn't going to get into the fact that I am doing everything possible to have it done. It's none of her business!!! Finally, an hour later we get to leave. I was wanting to cry, scream, whatever by this time because she doesn't know me and she is standing there telling me not to have something done because she is/was an idiot for not following doctors orders and because she was talking to me about my husband like I wasn't married to him. Well dumby that I am added her to my myspace friends.....and she has since sent me 4 messages!! Anyway, enough about that.....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On Saturday, Mom called me and told me that my cousin Steven Simpson had died. I couldn't control myself. I just busted out crying because I had just seen him on Wednesday when me and Hannah were walking. He was smiling and asking me how mom and dad were doing and didn't look like he was upset about anything....but you know people can hide their emotions and you never know what someone else is thinking. He was a really nice guy. We went to his mom's house Saturday about lunch time. There was a lot of people there. She wasn't doing good. :0( I can only imagine having my son die. He was having trouble with his wife and he got a gun (not sure what kind) and took the clip out of it and didn't realize that it had a bullet still in the chamber. :0( So sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hannah and Richard got a trampoline on Friday night and Saturday we put it together and jumped on it for a little while. Yesterday we went to church and then ate at Pizza Hut and then went to their house again and stayed on it from 1:30 - 4:30!! My stomach is so sore from laughing and jumping. It was so funny. Hannah took some pics so I will have to download them from her camera and post them. I look so stupid in them. haha!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another note....dieting this weekend went pretty good except for the Snicker's bar that I ate on Saturday. Chris brought it home for me and said that it was my valentine's/anniversary candy. :0)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called the doctors office because I got a letter from the insurance company saying that they do not cover obesity related doctors visits. So everytime I go to the doctor for the supervised weightloss, I am going to have to pay the full amount!! GREAT!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well have a great day!!

TGIF!!

Well nothing exciting happened yesterday....unless you count my blood sugar going too low. I knew it was going to happen yesterday because all I ate was a 6 inch sub and some baked lays chips from Subway. About 3 I started to feel a little funny so I chewed a piece of chewing gum (not sugar free). Well that didn't help. By about 3:40pm I was shaking so bad I could barely hold my mouse to do anything on the computer that I needed to do. Thankfully the receptionist had some peppermints so I got a couple from her and started chewing. A few minutes later I was fine. It is kinda scary.

So after all that and only having 500 calories all day I decided (since Zach got a ribbon for find the most C's on his paper) that we would go to McDonald's. haha! I did not do good at all last night. :0( We won't get into what I ate but just know that I am ashamed, so ashamed. :0) But it was GOOOD!!

This brings to mind a question.....With this problem am I going to be ok after surgery? It is a little scary and probably a question that I need to ask my doctor, right?

Anyhoo, I am ok today. I am so glad it's Friday and my hunnypoo is coming home tomorrow!!!

Today is Thursday......right?

Me and Han walked yesterday. We are starting to walk faster than we used to so we are going to have to get a longer route to take. It is not taking us as long to walk it like it used to.

I am so excited that I have lost weight!! It just makes me feel so much better. I am proud of myself. Makes me think I can actually do this. I am still worried about Chris getting laid off and then where will I be? I won't be able to have the surgery. I will be devistated. He told me not to worry but I can't help it. I have come too far to be shot down now. You know? :0(

Anyway, Have a good Thursday!!

Couldn't wait!!!

Ok so I couldn't wait to post this....I got a new set of digital scales today....and......I have lost 6 lbs!!!!

Keep your poo to yourself.....

Yesterday was not a very good day. I was supposed to go walk with Hannah when I got off but I didn't because I had to leave work at 3:00 p.m. because when I went to the bathroom to tinkle I sat in someone's....."leftovers". UGH! I usually look at the seat before I sit down so that this doesn't happen but I had to go really bad because of all the water I have been drinking and didn't think so look. Well when I got up to do the "check to see if I have left anything" I saw poo on the back of the toilet seat. I thought I was imagining things so I went and got my friend here and asked her to go into the bathroom with me to inspect. Well sure enought that is what it was. I felt so nasty!!!

I mean come on...I am the youngest woman here and I clean up after myself. Ya know? Grown women should not leave "leftovers" on the toilet seat for other people to clean up!!!

Needless to say I didn't walk because I don't like to walk alone and I had taken a shower when I got home. I know I should have danced around the house or something but I just felt like being lazy because I NEVER get home that early. Maybe I could walk longer tonight when I get off work. ?? Who knows.

I am wondering if I should be keeping up with my daily intake of food. I have been but I am wondering if I should share it with anyone. I don't always eat what I am supposed to as far as veggies and fruits go (does anyone?) but I am keeping my calorie intake below 1500 a day. So I am doing good there. I keep a list of when I exercise. Any thoughts?

I am also still debating whether or not I need to take Zach to the doctor next week for the ADHD appointment. I think I am just scared that it is going to be positive that he has it and I don't want that for him. I want him to be (dare I say) normal.

I am still wondering about my job....whether I will have one next month or not....because now we are out of propane...not just gas and diesel. Go figure. But they keep on taking everyone's money when it comes to the propane. Better to have money in the bank than to turn them away by telling them we have none. HA!

Oh if you want to be my friend on myspace my page is .......

http://www.myspace.com/zachsmommy2

I have given up on not blogging everyday...it's like a drug...or food....I just have to put my feelings out there. LOL

Later!!

blinkies....

I found this and it reminded me of what I have been in the past....



And of course this is the way I feel......




of course most days I feel like I am one of these...LOL



Am I normal? I don't think so....




Says it all...





Absolutely!!




hehe!!







i used to think so....


I love to do this!!



we were trying to do this until I decided that I needed to lose weight with WLS!!



yes i am!!








yet, growing up so fast...

















and without him my life would be nothing!!!












yet, people don't see that...

Oh YEAH!!!

Ok so I know yesterday I said I wouldn't be blogging everyday but I just can't help it. I just have to say that yesterday I ate under 1500 calories!!!! And I was fine! I usually have little episodes where I start to shake a lot when i don't eat enough because I am hypoglycemic....but yesterday I didn't. :0) Just thought I would share that little bit of info!!!

It's Monday already?

Ok so the weekend went pretty well. Our anniversary was Saturday but with Chris being gone it was just another day. We went to Tracey's to eat supper with them and Mom and Dad and Pop and my aunt Terri from Orlando and two of her kids, Scottie and Morgan. Morgan wasn't feeling too good so she wasn't very talkative. We had hot dogs and sausage and chips. (Not very diet friendly) But I did good. I ate one hot dog and a small piece of sausage and some BAKED potatoe chips. Oh and I had baked beans and thought I was doing good there until they told me that they had waffle syrup and brown sugar in them. haha They were awesome!! LOL I just said oh well.

We played Taboo and it was the funniest game ever. Especially since it was girls against guys and there were 4 girls and only 2 guys. Hilarious!

I didn't walk all weekend. :-( I am going to walk everyday this week. At least that is what I am rooting for . We will see how it goes. I brought chicken noodle soup and wheat thins for lunch. With water to drink. I am going to limit myself to having tea for supper and that is it.

I bought a set of scales on Friday that weigh up to 440 lbs. and they are digital also. I feel like my clothes are fitting looser but gaining weight does not make me feel better. I will probably wear the scales out getting on them everyday but I just have to feel better....of course it may make me feel worse. Hmmm...we will see.

I am so ready for Chris to come home!! He probably won't like it that we are eating Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones for supper every night so I will probably backslide on that next week. Hopefully I can control myself and let him cook them something and then eat my stuff. I CAN DO THIS!!

I didn't drink any cokes this weekend!! GO ME!! The last coke I had was on the 8th of Feb. And I shared it with Zach so it wasn't even a whole one!! hehe Things are going to get better. I am certain!!

Anyway....hope you all enjoy your week. I am going to try to limit myself to blogging this week. I am trying to only do it a couple times a week instead of everyday. We will see how that goes.

HAPPY PRESIDENT's Day!! LOL

It's ok.....

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I felt so stupid because I had done everything that I knew to do to lose weight, so with it being Valentine's Day and all I took up an offer of chocolate. :-) It was soooo good. I know I shouldn't have but it made me feel so much better eating the little piece that I did. But then I felt bad about doing it. :-(

We went to China Star last night for supper. Me and Zach shared some house fried rice. I don't know if I was just hungry or what but it was awesome!! haha Then I made a fool of myself yet again when I thought that Hannah and Richard were paying for our supper. I felt so stupid. And then she got upset about it because I thought that they were paying it when I told her that I would pay her back today after I got my check!! It is funny now. We are supposed to be going to lunch today. I don't really know where we are going. Hopefully somewhere good. Not that I need to be eating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We walked last night also. I drank 6-8 oz of water yesterday. :-)

Well more later.....

Devastated.....

Might have mispelled the title...oh well.

I feel horrible!! Oh well on the 2 lbs....I have gained that and then 2 more!!! I just want to cry...I did cry. The doctor asked me how I was and I told him that I was fine until I came to see him and realized that I had gained 4 lbs in a week!! WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The nurse says it may be muscle. Who knows? I asked him what else I needed to do and he said well Samantha with your weight 4 lbs is not that much. Bull$hi&!! And that if I could loose it on my own then I wouldn't be having the surgery....don't get frustrated. How am I not supposed to get frustrated when I walk 3 days a week and eat less than I was eating? He told me to start walking 4 to 5 days a week and only eat 1500 calories a day. I am trying.

I'm going to go cry some more now..... :'-(

P.s. My honey isn't home and today is Valentine's Day and Saturday is our anniversary and he can't call me because he has no service on his cell phone where they are!! So.....

No title....

Last night we went to sign Zach up for T-ball. I left work 15 minutes early so that I could go home and get his birth certificate because I knew that I had to have that in order to sign him up. We get to the sign up place and I have no idea where to go. We finally saw a note on a door that said Dixie League sign ups are in the library. Ok so where is the stupid library??? I saw a door open to a little tin building and told my sis that if that wasn't it then we would ask the people inside where to go. Sure enough that was the place but the "library" is only about as big as my bedroom!! WTF?? Anyway, I filled out the info for her and she told me not to right down his sizes because we would do that when the coach called to tell us who's team he would be on. Apparently the coaches pick their own teams so I'm figuring Zach will be on the bad team because the coaches won't know him and he has never played before. Back to the madness....when I handed her the birth certificate she was not pleased because she was hoping I had already made a copy for her because apparently the "library" doesn't have a copier. So she went in search of one and the person had already left. So I went all the way to my house for nothing!!!! I have to take her a copy today to her place of work. UGH!! I was mad, but it didn't stop there because when we went back outside it was STORMING!! I mean when we got to the car we were all soaking wet. And of course I didn't want to cook supper so we went to McDonald's. :-) I am bad I know.

I am back to the point of wondering whether or not I will have a job in the next few weeks. None of the companies stores have any gas and we have no propane to sell either! Will I have a job or won't I? I would love to stay at home and clean up or sleep or whatever but I know that if I don't have anything productive to do I will get bored and I will think that I need to eat constantly. :-( All day at work I do really good only eating breakfast, lunch and maybe an afternoon snack. But then when I get home I feel the need to eat....I don't always give into it but it is there all the same. Just like I have issues with going to a place to eat...I feel like I need to get the biggest thing on the menu. I don't know why my mind is like this. I have been doing good though not giving in to that underlying thought. I AM STRONG!!! I CAN DO THIS!!

I go to my PCP appointment tomorrow.....I will post how it goes....wish me luck!!!!

2/12/08

Yesterday was Mom's birthday...I forgot to mention it....so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!!! I love you!!

Now on to today's babbling.....

Yesterday Hannah, Zach and I walked and then we measured each other to see how many inches we lose. I was kind of in shock because I am not that much bigger than Hannah. I don't feel so badly now. I want to be her size. She doesn't believe me but I do. If I get down to her weight and size I will be extatic. I think I misspelled that. But anyway.

I had to leave my watch yesterday to have the battery replaced so I feel so naked without it. I am going at lunch today to pick it up hopefully.

Yesterday I ate at Subway for lunch. I had a 6 inch club on wheat and baked lays chips with sweet tea. I also drank 4-8oz glasses of water. I am trying to make it to 8-8oz. I am trying!!!!

For supper we had baked chicken tenders, baked beans, baked buttered potatoes and wheat bread. Zach almost threw up on me because I made him try the baked beans.

He threw up in the car this morning!! It was so sour!! YUCK!!

We made a box for him to put his valentines in on Thursday....here is a pic.....

This afternoon we are going to sign Zach up for Tball. This will be the first year that he has played. He is so excited!!

Well until next time....

update....

When I went to Dr. Avara on Friday it was an experience. LOL

He did make me feel good by saying that he thought that I didn't look like I weigh as much as I do. Which made me proud, I guess you could say. But then he told me that I was carrying a lot of weight in my legs. I already knew that because they swell so badly.

Just thought I would tell ya!! :)

A new week....

Today is the beginning of a new week!! It is going to be a good week. I just know it. I am still worrying about the stupid two lbs that I lost. I know I could have done better but I feel that I didn't because I ate so much at McDonald's on Zach's birthday. I will do better next time. Thursday I go back to Dr. Burroughs for my 2nd PCP appointment. It is the start of my second month!! WooHOO!!

Today I have drank almost 2-8 oz glasses of water and it is only 9:15!!!

I ate 3/4 cup of Special K with a 1/2 cup of milk

for lunch I think I am going to go to Subway. Not sure what we are having for supper yet. We will see.

I am going tonight to walk with Hannah. She is my workout bud!! hehe

Until next time.....

ON Track

I have to get back on track with my eating. I walked 15 minutes tonight at mom's with Hannah, Richard and Zach. I only ate a little at mom's instead of eating like I usually do. I just still feel like I am hungry....is it all in my head???? I don't know. I will get through this...I am stronger than this disease!!!

I lost weight!!!

Can you believe that??!!??!!

Although it was only 2 lbs but have you ever seen a pound of fat?? It is huge!! So 2 lbs is a great start. In my book anyway. I go back to Dr. Burroughs for my 2nd month weigh in on Valentine's Day. Dr. Avara told me that I need to lose 15 to 25 lbs before I have the surgery. I know that I can do it. :-) I am strong.

~~~~~~~~

Hannah, Richard, Zach and I went to watch "Meet the Spartans" in Daphne last night. It was an awful movie. It was only 1 hour and maybe 10 minutes long. It was not something that I should have taken Zach to see. However, he laughed a couple of times at some funny stuff. I had to turn his head one time. He didn't want to but I made him.

~~~~~~~~

I have fallen off of writing down what I eat everyday, therefore, I have eaten things that I shouldn't. I am still doing pretty good with the cokes though. I had a half of one last night. Me and Zach shared it and a Snicker candy bar. I knew in my head that I didn't need to be eating or drinking it but it was like something that I had to do. And then when I was done I felt horrible about myself. I have got to get better with that. I have started a list of sugar free things that I actually like the taste of....sugar free chocolate pudding being the first thing on the list and sugar free Kool Aid being another. After the surgery I can't eat sugar anymore because it causes some people to have bad reactions to it.

Continue to pray for me and my efforts!!

SLP

BIRTHDAY NEWS!!!

First off as you can tell today is my tootbug's birthday!! He is 5 years old!! I remember like it was yesterday how everything went the day he was born. But we wont get into that. He had his 5 year old shots today too. He was brave until the end. He started crying because he saw his blood. He was supposed to go back to school and have a mini birthday party with cupcakes and juice but he said he didn't want to go back today. He went to sleep in my office at 1:30 and didn't get back up until 4:10. He needed the rest. It was traumatic for him. After work we went to pick up the cupcakes and then to McDonald's for his birthday supper. He ended up playing the game inside instead of going out to play.

Oh and the diet got thrown out the window because of McDonald's tonight. :-( I will get back on the wagon tomorrow.

More later!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZACH!!!

Things could be worse....

First off a bit of good news.....I drank more water yesterday than I have in a long long time!!

Second....today sucks!! I looked at my bank account and I am overdrawn because my stupid bank took out fees for overdraft before they put my deposit in!!! And then I had signed up for a trial thing on weightwatchers and they told me that I had until today to cancel it or it would be charged $65....well guess what....they didn't wait they have already put it in!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRR!!!! I am so frustrated right now I could scream!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My baby's birthday is tomorrow!!! He wants to take cupcakes and juice to school for a mini party. After his doctor appointment tomorrow we are going to get that before I take him back to school. He is so excited so I told him that I would take him to McDonald's for supper also.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hannah, Zach and I walked yesterday. Zach kept saying his legs were hurting. Probably because he pretty much ran the whole way!! haha

SLP

More updates to my never ending diet!! :-P

I know I am probably boring you with what I eat but I think it is kinda helping me in my effort so here goes......

Yesterday I had:

3/4 cup of cereal with milk

homemade soup
peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread
crackers

Today so far I have drank 2 glasses of water. (a big step for me if you know me)

3/4 cup of Special K
1/2 cup of milk

Went to Old Mexico again today with Tracey!! I had a burrito, a chalupa, and a soft taco. I know probably too much but.....I don't want to deprive myself right now.

I can't wait till Friday to see if I have lost any weight!!! I am so excited!

Hopefully this afternoon me and Han will walk but she may have to work til 6!!

Continue to pray for me!!

SLP

FRIDAY!! 2/1/08

I love February for some reason!! It just seems like the month of LOVE!! hehe My son was born in Feb., mine and Chris' anniversary is in Feb., my moms birthday is in Feb., and Valentine's Day is in February!! :-) IT's just a great month.

Last night we went to Old Mexico Mexican resturaunt for supper. At lunch we went to Mockingbird Grill. Here is what I ate at both times:

Lunch
1 smoked chicken breast
1 cup cheese grits
20 or so fries
1 roll
16 oz of sweet tea

Supper
tortilla chips with cheese dip (:-))
grilled chicken breast
10 fries
a couple of bites of Mexican rice
tea

I am going to turn into a chicken. haha When I got home me and Zach shared a 4 oz container of yogurt (strawberry Mist)

Today when i got up I ate 3/4 cup of Special K Chocolatey Delight and 1/2 cup of milk

For lunch I had a turkey sandwich on wheat bread with 1/2 teaspoon of spicy brown mustard Pringle chips and 1/2 teaspoon of ranch dip.

I have got to start drinking more water!!! No cokes this week!! I am so proud!!

SLP

Stressed

Yesterday I went to pick up Zach to take him with us to the dentist so that we wouldn't have to get someone else to pick him up and the teacher tells me that she needs to talk to me in the hall.





This is what happened:





teacher: Samantha, Zach got his star taken down again today.





me: why?





teacher: He was wrestling with some more kids in the other class and wouldn't stop when he was told.





me: I know he and his dad do that all the time at home and I have told him that he needs to stop.





teacher: well i know that boys will be boys but he also interrupts me when I am talking and talks about his game constantly. He is one of the brightest kids in the class. I think he may be bored. He knows everything and that is why he interrupts me is to tell me the answer.





me: He learned everything that you guys are learning this year in his preschool.





teacher: well if he was my child I would take away his game and spank his butt when I got him home.





me: There is no telling what his dad is going to do to him because he has told him that he needs to quit doing all these things. I will take care of it.





Needless to say he did not get a spanking because it was late when we got home and I didnt want to spank him in the school parking lot because I don't want anyone to call DHR on me for spanking my child. I told him today that he needed to be better and not interrupt or talk about his game. He is grounded from the game until Chris comes back home unless he gets worse and then he won't get it back then either. UGH!! I feel like pulling my hair out.





~~~~~~~~~~~





I asked Zach last night if he would like it if moma was skinny and his eyes lit up and said YES!!! That made me feel even worse about myself. :-(





Yesterday I had:





spaghetti


1 slice of wheat bread


tea


4 oz yogurt





supper:


grilled chicken sandwich from Mcdonald's


fries


2 bites of a fish filet sandwich


tea





At 6:30p.m. a BIG storm came through, I am convinced that it was part tornado. We ran and got in the closet because the wind was so loud and something hard was hitting the windows. After the wind died down a little we came out of the closet and had no lights because a transformer by our house got struck. We were the only house in the neighborhood with no lights. They finally came back on an hour or so later. In that time I was stressed so I ate a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread. :-( I wasn't hungry I just knew that it was there and had to have it!! What is wrong with me?





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Chris has left again for a month. :-( I didn't want to see him go. He almost didn't go because he locked his keys in his truck and we have no spare key!! It cost $50 to get it unlocked!! Can you believe that? But we get it back because our insurance is paying for it!! YEAH!!





I made a virtual model of what I am going to look like at 170 lbs. -------> Don't I look cute? hehe





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





I feel like some friends that I have are upset with me for some reason. After seeing/reading some things that I did this morning, I feel like they are thinking that I am not such a good friend to have after all. Who knows? Because I haven't done anything to make them feel that I was anything but loyal to them. I guess I was right in saying that my sister is my best friend and possibly my only true friend. She loves me no matter what and sees my faults but still loves me and even if I don't call her everyday or see her everyday she understands. If I don't feel like talking she understands. I am comfortable around her. She is my rock!!! :-) I love her!! I guess we only have one true friend in this world and sometimes it takes a long time to figure that out.

I guess I shouldn't get really upset about the whole thing because I really don't know if they were referring to me but it just makes me feel really bad that they would think that I was anything but a true friend to them. UGH!! I get too upset about everything.

Well continue to pray for me and all my many many stresses!!! :)