New ramblings.....

Isn't my little man just the cutest? He is getting to be such a handsome thing. You can't tell in the picture but he was horrified that ants were going to get on him because he didn't have any shoes on. haha!! It turned out really cute though.





We took pictures of him Saturday afternoon before we went to Pop's for supper.






I hate this picture....I hate myself....I just don't see this when I look in the mirror!! Why don't I see this? I thought I actually looked pretty good. ha!





I have been doing better on the diet than in weeks past. I am so frustrated!! I am ready to have this surgery done already!! I keep thinking in the back of my mind that the insurance company is going to deny me. Although I have done everything that they have required of me so far. Chris has told me that a few people that he works with has tried to have it done or their wives have tried to have it done and the insurance company denies them. I don't get that. Maybe it's because they messed something up? I don't know. I will just crawl in a hole and die if I can't have it done. I am so tired of being this way. All I want to do is cry because I don't like going places or even to see my family because I don't want anyone seeing me. I can't stand to go to the grocery store or anywhere by myself. I feel like everyone is staring at me and talking about me behind my back. In a way I feel like I am paranoid but then it may be true. I just know that if the insurance doesn't pay then I guess I am stuck in this body forever being FAT!! I can't afford to self pay. :0( I just want to cry thinking about it.





On the upside I only have a little under 2 months before everything can be filed and my fate is determined. :0) Should I smile and get excited or should I frown and cry? Who knows? I am trying to be optimistic about it. I have prayed about it and I know that God led me to going down this path and wanting to get this surgery done. I need to just leave it in His hands and His will will be done.

Well, I didn't get the car for Mother's Day that I wanted...or any car for that matter. Chris wants to wait until after I have the surgery and then see what I want then. I guess he thinks I am going to want some sporty car or something. HAHA!!

Instead I am getting a Wii and a Wii Fit to exercise with!! I am so excited considering I hate walking or exercising in front of anyone so I can do it in the comfort of my own home!! WOOHOO!! :0)

Well have a good day, week, month....until I post again!! SLP